I kissed dating goodbye, so did my fiance. Yet, I feel ashamed. Let me explain. Allison began early on to read books and decide how she was to honor God in her dating life. I'm talking middle school. I, on the other hand, did not realize this need until college age. I had similar thoughts that Pastor Josh Harris held in I Kissed Dating Goodbye while I was in High School, but I would be a liar if said that I was not consumed with girls and trying to get them to be impressed with me, a big liar. As a matter of fact, I was still completely enthralled with girls, they just tended to be my friends instead of random girls. It is from this that I find my shame. Please do not take me wrong, Christ takes the shame. Yet I truly wish that I had held the same views as Allison. I wish that I had held the relationship in such high esteem as she did. I'm not sure of all of Allison's struggles, i'm not sure how difficult it was for her to make these decisions and hold to them. I do know that I did not have the same ones and now feel guilty that I did not pray more for her, all along. I am sorry that I did not always trust God to provide Allison for me.
Allison was always the one for me:
I am either naive enough or just trusting enough to believe that Allison has always been the one that God intended for me. Now that I have found her, I am sorry that I did not trust God all along. I questioned whether He even had someone for me. I questioned the one's He said "no" to (or He allowed them to say "no" to me). I am sorry that I did not trust Him more. I am also sorry that I did not wait more patiently for her. She is exactly what I need. We are perfect for each other. To try and be real and not wanting to be too cliche or movie quotable, she completes me. (I know, I know its cheesy, but its true).
I feel that my impatience was a sin against her and most of all against God.
There's one out there for you:
What I am not saying is that you are in the wrong for liking someone. I just had to go ahead and get that out there. I even think that dating is okay (for responsible 16+) as long as you are honoring God and trying to find out who your future mate might be. But to date around because you think you might like someone, or that they could one day meet your criteria (do you even have criteria?) is no way to honor God in the marriage relationship He will one day give you. The Bible says not to defile the marriage bed, an impatience with God's provision of a mate could be defiling it.
I am a virgin. I have kissed inappropriately (it was all inappropriate because none of those I kissed were going to be my wife, they are all someone else's wife now). But the fact is, I could be very prideful about this accomplishment. I am saying that I am still ashamed and have felt like I let Allison down and God down. (I wholeheartedly believe that we cannot try and excuse any of our sin.). The truth is, God has someone for you. Right now! they may be waiting like Allison did, they may be impatient like me and distrusting of God. They may be doing whatever they please with whomever they please. But how will they feel when they finally meet you and know that you waited for them, completely? Will they see that you cared so much for them to wait or that you were too busy living for yourself.
Calling all middle schoolers and 9th graders:
I am primarily writing for any middle schoolers and/or ninth graders that might read this. I want to encourage you. You might be feeling those deep feelings for someone right now. That's good. God gave those feelings for a reason, yet He does not give us permission to act upon them in an improper way. His call to "be holy as your heavenly Father is holy" still stands. Our feelings do not get to be a valid excuse. In the midst of those feelings, thank God for them. Thank God for the one to whom you want to express those feelings. Pray for them, pray for them to make good decisions and to honor God especially regarding their marriage. Pray for their husband/wife (it might be you, it might not). Pray for your husband/wife. Pray that they are more focused this moment on God than on if you are out there.
We must live for Christ. He must be our main focus. Like someone, that's okay. You can even tell them (as long as they know that you only want to pray for them at this time), just do not make my mistake and get wrapped up in the deep emotion of it and dishonor God. He deserves our all, our future spouse (whom you may have never met yet) deserves our best.
I hope this was an encouragement!
Solus Christus
Derrick
No comments:
Post a Comment